Thursday, October 29, 2009

Let's Get Some Shoes, Betch!

This is my sister's an my favorite video on YouTube.  I'm all about the shoes, betch.  Now you can be too.  Oprah has posted a 50% off coupon for full purchases at Payless, but it ends on the 30th.  I hope I have time to get to the store!!  I REALLY hope it doesn't turn into another KFC debacle.

And coupon....

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Suh-WWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!  According to FINDMYBMI.COM I am finally of AVERAGE weight.  This is different from the Obesity Help BMI calculator, it says I have 4 or 5 pounds to go, but it also only takes into consideration height and weight.  FINDMYBMI.COM takes height, weight, age, and gender, so I think that one is a bit more complete.  I DIG!!!! 

I also recently joined  AWESOME site.  It's from Johnson&Johnson, the company that brings us the Realize band, but they've opened it to just about all weight loss surgery patients.  So if you've had LapBand or RNY, you can join.  It's got some incredible features.  Lots of goodies on the home page, a MyProgress tab (stats, goals, pics, "theNewMe"), MyPersonalPlan tab (reminders, appointments, nutrition, temptations, success strategies, support team), MyNutrition (Food diary, recipes), MyFitness (diary & plan), and a search and share tab.  I'm just now getting in to it, but it looks like the best of all the "health" sites I've joined.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, best of all....EET EEES FREE.  My favorite word.  (Along with AVERAGE. Hehehe)  The virtual model is really fun.  I think the best feature of all, though, is that almost all of the bariatric surgeons in the US are connected to this, so they can check & see how we're doing.  (OK, sometimes that's a bad thing, but usually good!)

Friday, October 23, 2009

In a funk and want to eat.

I'm irritated with my husband and my sewing machine, in that order.  I've been asking him to watch a movie with me for over a week now, and it's clear he won't.  OK, fine whatever.  I'm stupidly irritated, but it's a deeper issue than just the movie and I know it.  Get over it, Meagan.  As far as the sewing machine, I paid $60 a few weeks ago to get a tune up and replace the bobbin winder belt. bobbin winder doesn't work AGAIN!  And I'm trying to make a curtain for my friend's classroom.  GRRR....

Anyway...point of all this is that I really want to go digging in the kitchen.  Or in my nightstand for those M&M's.  I'm not hungry, I know it's emotional.  I had a protein shake for breakfast/lunch, coffee later in the day, some Triscuits with cheese as a snack (lesson learned about Triscuits, HOLY BLOATY), tortilla chips with cheese and salsa for another snack, taco soup for dinner, and a SF ice cream bar for dessert.  I'm nowhere NEAR hungry.  And I'm overloaded on carbs for today between the triscuits and the tortilla chips.  But I still want to crunch.  Like Dortios.  Thank God we don't have any in the house. 

OK....water.....drink water and go to bed and read.  Maybe pop an extra Wellbutrin? 

(It's really good I don't have wine in the house right now....I WOULD be drinking it.)

Thursday, October 22, 2009


What a great word!  SABOTAGE.  It makes me think of spies, bad guys, intentional chaos, loss of control, and FAMILY.

My dear friend Amy was talking about how her mom doesn't intend to sabotage her weight loss.   And I'm sure she doesn't.  But inevitably, the people we depend on most for support will inevitably end up sabotaging our efforts at one point or another.  Sometimes it might even end up as self-sabotage.  We might go visit the folks and they'll have their normal junk food in the house.  That Oreo looks so good!  It won't hurt to have just one!  But that one turns into another one half an hour later, and before we know it we've eaten half a package of Oreos in a single day.   Or a whole bag of chips.  Or that bag of M&M's that's in my nightstand drawer.  (Don't tell the kids!  That's MOM'S stash!)

Sometimes we don't think about the fact that we're putting excess calories and fat into our mouths, and where it's going.  We may be eating and grazing because we're bored.  It may be because the people we're around cause us stress and eating is our soothing mechanism.  It may be just because it's what everybody else is doing.  We MUST think about every single thing we put in our mouths, and why we're doing it.  We made the choice to have a body modification to help us lose weight, but (I hate saying this) it's just a tool.  If we're making the choice to eat the crap then WHY have weight loss surgery? 

What are your junk addictions that you're having a hard time putting away?  Why do you think it's so difficult to put it aside and turn it away when it's screaming in your face?  What can you do to deal with those addictions?

The holidays are coming up faster than I care to think of, and for a lot of people it's a stressful time.  We'll be gathering with family and carrying on traditions that have gone on for generations.  Inevitably, those traditions are going to center on food.  One of the most important things I've learned since having surgery is that a family gathering is about the time we spend together as a family, it's not about the food.  I don't have to sample every single thing that's out on the table just because it's there.  Not only will people not care if I don't eat it, they likely won't even notice because we're so busy just spending good time together. 

What about those people that DO notice, though?  The ones that are pushy and want you to eat more?  It depends...Are you open with your family about your surgery and weight loss?  Tell them that your tummy only gives you "Iiiiiiitty bitty living space!" and "Thanks, but I'm really just not hungry."  Still pushing?  Give them FACTS.  Your stomach, fully stretched to capacity, only allows you to hold 1/4 to 3/4 cup of food.  Because of this you have to be selective about your food choices and need to get good filling proteins in first, then veggies.  That doesn't leave room for much of anything else.  You might choose to have a bite or two of pumpkin pie later on (if you know your tummy can handle it) but for right now, thanks but no thanks.

If you're not sharing your weight loss with your family and they start noticing that you're eating less, and maybe start pushing you to eat more...there's still nothing wrong with saying no.  Maybe "Thanks, but I'm working on living healthier."  DON'T pretend to eat more, because you WILL eat more.  You don't have to be honest with the people around you about your surgery, but you DO have a responsibility to be honest with YOURSELF. 

So back to the issue of family or friends bringing crap around you when you're not sure you can refrain from it.  It's really hard to speak up, especially when you don't want to point out THEIR eating issues.  I firmly believe,  though, that the best gift we can give ourselves and our families is our gentle honesty.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with sitting a family member down and making a point of having a discussion.  Explain that while you respect their choice to eat what they want it's difficult for you to not eat those things when that person is around.  It's a habit to share those foods with that person, and food habits are the oldest habits most of us have, and are the hardest to break.  You want to continue spending time with that person, but it would be so helpful to YOU if they'd not bring the snack junk around you.  Who knows, maybe you can put your heads together and come up with some healthier choices to snack on?  (Mmm....homemade hummus and veggies!)  I think my biggest point, really, is that we need to speak up for ourselves. 

Think about everything you're putting in your mouth.  Do you need it or do you want it?  Are you going to regret it later?  Why do you want it?  Is it an emotional or physical craving?  Can you stop yourself at one cookie, one chip, one sip?  Do you want it just because it's a habit?  Be honest with yourself!

Thumbs up!!  When people question why I'm eating so slowly or leaving so much on my plate I show them my thumb.  "This is how big my stomach is.  Iiiiiiiiitty bitty living space!!!"  Sometimes a simple explanation is the best.

Quality, not quantity.  Enjoy the family you're with.  You might even have MORE fun without that loaded plate in hand.

Be honest with yourself and those around you.  You can be honest with somebody and not tell them the full truth. 

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I CAN....

I can lean over to tie my shoes.  And the tie is on top, not the side, of the shoe.

I can go hard on the elliptical for more than two miles and barely break a sweat.

I can lean over and hold my ankles, and my boobs touch my knees.  Not because of gravity, either!

I can do the dishes without incredible back pain.  Just don't tell my daughter!

I can last 400 miles on the back of my husband's motorcycle. 

I can wear boots and not have to worry about getting a size bigger to fit my calves.

I can jump onto my husband and have him hold me and not worry about hurting him.

I can get into my van with the door barely opened (thanks to the person that parked way too close to me) and not have to squeeze in.

I can say hello to my neighbor and have her give me a "who the hell are you?!" look because she doesn't recognize me.

I can catch my 10 year old when she runs away from me.

I can work in my garden without back pain.

I can keep up with my husband when we're walking somewhere.

I can look in the mirror and believe that I am smaller than the average American woman.  (Wow, that sounds arrogant!)

I can have a few bites of chocolate or ice cream and be able to push them away before I eat so much that I get sick.

I can spend time with family in a food centered situation and realize that it's not about the food, it's about the family.

I can do naughty things with my husband that he says are none of your business!!! 

I can dance and Zumba my cares away and not feel like a cow tripping around about to land on somebody.

I can shop in the "regular" misses section.  Still automatically going to the plus section, but then I realize I'm in the wrong place!

I can shop in "normal" stores!  Gap! Eddie Bauer!  Banana Republic! American Eagle! Victoria's Secret!  (OK, so I haven't shopped at Vicky's yet, but I'll be hitting that next payday.  I want perky boobs!)

I can sit in my van and not overflow the driver's seat. 

I can sit in my jacuzzi bathtub and have four inches to spare on each side of me.

I can fit in the flapper Halloween costume that I wore the first Halloween that Brian and I were together, before I found out I was pregnant with Bethany.  (Hm, might wear that this Halloween!)

I can wear high heels without pain.  I can even walk through downtown in heels without killing myself.  I can even DANCE in high heels.

I can stand face to face with my husband and kiss him, and not have to reach to do it.

I can cuddle with my husband and have his arms wrapped all the way around me, not just reaching.

I can mow the front yard without feeling like I'm going to fall over and die.  I still break out in hives, but I don't fall over and die.

I can climb up to the top bunk on my girls' bed and not feel like I'm going to come crashing down on my 12 year old.

I can carry two heavy bags of groceries out to the van from the store and not drop them.

I can carry things in front of me, instead of having to prop them on my hip because my stomach is in the way.

I can cross my legs like a LADY.

I can stand with my arms hanging down to my sides, instead of sticking out like an ape.  OK, they stick out a little bit, but that's because of my boobs.

I can look down and not have three chins. 

I can tilt my head downward and not have two chins.

I can look at a picture of myself and see a difference.

I can be proud of what I've accomplished so far.

I can have faith in myself that I WILL lose the last 20 pounds.

I can have faith in myself that I will keep the weight off for the rest of my life.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I spend too much time thinking about this...

I'm down to 169 by my scale today.  And I like my scale so that's the number I'm going with.  So, OCD freak that I am, I figured out that if I lose an average of 3 pounds a week I WILL MAKE GOAL WEIGHT BY MY BIRTHDAY. 

Starting Monday my butt will be back in the gym, I don't care if I'm still not feeling well.  I WILL make it by my birthday.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I just applied for the Ambush Makeover on the Today Show...

I sent them the pics that are below and told them about how I've "undergrown" my clothes, and now when I go shopping I have to send text pics to my friends to get the OK for what I'm trying on.  I have no clue how to dress myself anymore!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Feel Yourself Up and Get to Know Your New Boobies

After WLS EVERYTHING changes...and I do mean everything.  Even the tissues in our breasts can change.  This morning I was feelin' myself up in the shower (aka doing my breast exam) and I kind of freaked myself out for a moment. 

I felt lumps. 

OK, I admit, it scared the shit out of me. 

Then I realized, "Heeeeeeeeeey, those are my RIBS!!!!"

Feel yourself up frequently as your body changes, so you can recognize what lumps, bumps, and bones SHOULD be there. 

Monday, October 12, 2009

By the way....

Bought two pair of size 10 jeans this weekend.  Yeah baby!!!  Down 85 pounds, 23 to go.

Size 22, 258 pounds the                                           173 pounds, 85 pounds down,
night before surgery.                                                      23 to go.

Gastric Bypass Makes for a CHEAP Date

Brian and I are hoping to have a nice date night this weekend.  If we do, we'll hit a steakhouse that offers a surf & turf dinner.  He'll have the steak, prepared the way I like it so I can have a bite or three, and I get the lobster/shrimp/fish/whateveritisbecauseIloveseafood.  (Because it's all about me, right?)  On top of that, though, I'm going to have WINE.  I'll only need about half a glass to have a grand old time, though.

I love wine.  I started getting into wine about two years ago, but back then I preferred sweet wines.  I wasn't all that big on reds unless they were dessertish.  I preferred a nice fruity pinot over a chardonnay.  Notsomuch anymore.  Now I'm all about the dry.  I think it's because I don't care for sweet as much on anything anymore.  I had a glass of Fat Bastard Cabernet Sauvignon last week that made me just want to climb on the roof like in those Dunkin' Donuts coffee commercials, though.  "I love this wine!!!"

The great part, though, is that it only takes about half a glass to give me a nice buzz.  Let me state for the record right now, I DO NOT DRINK TO GET DRUNK, I DO NOT LIKE TO BE DRUNK.  My dad is an alcoholic and I won't put my kids through what I went through.  I do, however, enjoy a glass once a month or so (more often in the last few weeks, maybe once or twice a week in the last three weeks).  Half a glass is enough to get me good & giggly and appreciative of my incredibly handsome husband.  (Sigh...isn't he gorgeous?)

Here's the thing...because we've had so much of our stomach removed, the wine is going directly to our small intestine where it's immediately absorbed into the bloodstream.  In a normal stomach it would take as much as twenty  to thirty minutes to start to metabolize into the system, and because metabolization would start IN the stomach, there's be less to absorb through the intestines, and it would take more for the buzz to hit.  Now, with the immediate absorption, it only takes a good two ounces or so to get us legally drunk.  Granted, it's going to go THROUGH us faster, but it hits us harder and faster too. 

Talk to your doctor before you start drinking again.  ESPECIALLY if you think you may have addiction transfer issues.  If you do, then avoid it altogether, it's not worth the heartache of what you'd do to your family were you to allow that monkey on your back.  If you and your doctor decide that it IS OK, enjoy in moderation, take it slow, and know that a bottle of wine tastes just as beautiful a few nights later as it does the night you open it. 

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Be jealous, I know I would be!!

Chef Dave is coming to OKC, and he's going to talk to us about cooking for the family post-surgery.  I believe he'll be preparing a recipe and bringing cookbooks for sale as well.  I'M SO FREAKIN' EXCITED!!!!  Don't know who Chef Dave is?  SHAME ON YOU!  No, not really, but you should get to know him.  He's all neato & stuff.  Clicky the linky up top, or to go to his site, clicky HERE

He'll be at the Integris Baptist Support Group in the main auditorium, Tuesday October 20, 6:30 to 8 PM.  If you're local, PLEASE join us.  If you're not, hop on a plane!  I've got plenty of floorspace for a campout!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Gee, ya think?


I used to drink up to 8 sodas a day.  In high school my nickname was C.C, as I got through the day on a 6 pack of Cherry Coke and Cherry Pop-Tarts.  (As skinny as I was, I can only wonder what I would have looked like had I eaten HEALTHY.)  At my worst I worked my way through a case of soda in two days.  Unfortunately, this is fairly standard with Americans.

A teaspoon of sugar weighs 4.2 grams, and there's approximately 39 grams of sugar in one 12 oz can of soda.  That works out to just over 9 teaspoons of sugar per can.  At 8 12 oz sodas a day, I was consuming just over 74 teaspoons of sugar a day.  One cup is 48 teaspoons.  That's over a 1 1/2 cups of sugar a day, JUST IN THE LIQUID I WAS CONSUMING.  Not including the crap I was eating.

In all reality, I did have a fairly healthy diet when it came to my regular meals.  It was my snacking that was getting me in trouble, all of my snacks were either sugary or loaded with corn syrup as a stabilizer/preservative.  I'm sure that between my soda intake and the junk I was getting over two cups of sugar a day.  I can't believe I didn't end up diabetic earlier than I did.

Now here's my biggest issue in all of prior diet/habits are STANDARD for most American kids.  Their parents choose to feed their kids crap, because theoretically it's cheaper than eating healthy.  Or they don't want to hear their kids whining for the crap, so they shut them up by stuffing their faces.  It sickens me to see a two year old with a huge can of soda, and the mom thinking nothing of it.  And parents just can't figure out why their kids are fat.

Through all of my terrible habits, I am glad to say that I was pretty selfish about it.  I didn't allow my kids to have soda except on special occasions, and snacks consisted of cheese, fruit, and whole grain crackers.  (At least I tried to.  Sometimes I did let them have some crap, but it was rare.)  Good habits start early, bad habits start even earlier.  I'm praying that I didn't pass my food issues on to my kids.  If I did, I really hope that I can help them understand what lies beneath these habits, and teach them about being HEALTHY.

Give yourself credit!!

At the ball last week I saw my surgeon, and he hadn't seen me in a while.  Nice guy that he is, he told me I looked great.  I gave him a big hug and told him, "This is thanks to you, you know!!"

He said, "I know."  Rather smugly...

That's when it hit me.  Yes, he is a wonderful surgeon, but he did a TWO HOUR procedure on my guts.  I AM THE ONE THAT IS PUTTING IN ALL THE WORK.    It's up to me to make the right food choices, to exercise, and to seek support when I need it. I truly appreciate that he's given me the physical ability to finally lose the weight so my outside can match my inside, but I didn't realize until that night that I need to give myself credit for what I'm doing.

I'm not just doing this for myself.  I'm doing this for my husband and my kids.  But I AM THE ONE THAT'S DOING IT. 

Saturday, October 3, 2009

We're saving second base!!!!!

I went to a TWO HOUR LONG Zumba-thon tonight, and we raised OVER $1700 FOR A TEAM WALKING IN THE DALLAS 3-DAY WALK FOR THE CURE!!!!!  I'm so stinkin' happy and proud that I'm almost crying.  We also raised an additional $400 in T-shirt sales.  Yay for healthy knockers!!!! 

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Old Fashioned Strawberry Milkshake

Mmmmmm......I thought I was in an old fashioned ice cream shop!

2/3 c frozen sliced strawberries
1/2ish cup water
1 serving Strawberry Blast Chike protein powder

Buzz it up really well in your blender, and feel like you're drinking something naughty.  FOUR NOMS.