Friday, April 9, 2010


Or moreover, the fact that I'm no longer invisible.  I didn't realize just HOW invisible I was when I was obese, because I'm a friendly & chatty person.  Maybe that was my way of forcing people to see me, I don't know.  Now, though, I'm suddenly visible.  And by visible I mean that when I run into somebody that I haven't seen in a long time, they're shocked.  They tell me, "OH-EM-GEEEEE!  You look so good now!"



Really?  So when you told me before that I was pretty in spite of my weight, what was that? 

My husband is even guilty of it.  I know he's trying so hard and he's wonderfully supportive.  Sometimes, though, it gets in my still-fat-in-my-head side of my brain that he's incredibly complimentary of the new me, if he really found me beautiful and sexy before - why didn't he say so then?

Here's the thing.  I'M STILL THE SAME PERSON.  The changes that everybody else is seeing are all exterior.  I'm still the same person that you walked past and didn't notice, this time last year.  I'm the same smartass.  I think part of my problem is that all of the people that are "OMG-ing" at me never knew me when I was thin before.  They always knew RoundMeagan.  So when I was shocked each time I looked into a mirror and saw RoundMeagan because that was not the preconceived notion I had of myself - that's the only version of me that they had in their heads.

I have the same issue with strangers, though.  Last week I was at Lowe's and was pulling a sheet of plywood off a high stack.  There were no employees around to help so I decided to just do it myself.  (hehe, something I wouldn't have done before.  Yay me.)  I got the sheet most of the way down, but those things are heavy and awkward.  Two gentlemen came running to help me get the sheet on my pushcart just in time.  People being what they are, though, would they have been the kind that would walk past and glance at the RoundWoman struggling and do nothing to help out?  Most would have. 

Ergh.  I've been struggling with my renewed visibility lately, as you can tell.  I need to just shut up and enjoy it.  LOL 

In other news - I'm taking advantage of my new visibility and am selling Scentsy now.  I have to work, HAVE to, and this will let me be home with the kids, too.  You like yummy candles?  Do you feel like you're rolling up a twenty and lighting it when you burn a patriotically-named candle?  Do you like the idea of safe, food grade wax that won't burn little fingers if they decide to dip in it?  Then you need Scentsy!  (See, I'm good at this. LOL)  I'm closing my first show today, just a little mini-launch.  I'll be going with my director to a home & garden show on the 17th and will be getting the leads from that, and my neighbor is actually going to sign under me, and we're going to team up and take the neighborhood on a Scentsy ride.  ;)  Want to check out the website?  Clicky!!! .  I'll put a link over there >>>>, too.

So how's everybody else doing?