Monday, September 24, 2012

David Bowie Nailed It's been a while.

I'm sorry.

Facebook kinda killed blogging for me for a (long) while, but I think I'm back.

So David Bowie has a way of nailing certain moments in life for me.  Recently - you got it...Ch-ch-changes.

It seems as though when we come to big changes in our lives is when we get most introspective about who and why we are, and have more need of understanding it all.  As if that could truly happen, but hey, that's part of what blogging is for.  There's been a LOT of change in my life over the last year, not just WLS related stuff.  Brian deployed for nearly six months last November and't handle it well.  I realized that I am pretty much completely lost without him, and had a really hard time just functioning.  When he got back I had to learn how to be a partner again, even though it had been less than six months.  Going through all that can shatter your self-identity if you aren't strong in it to begin with.  I've learned a lot about myself because of the deployment and his coming home.  Some of it I really don't like (Ch-ch-changes!) and some I need to learn to give myself more credit for.  Aaaaaaaaaaand that's all I'm going to touch on that for now.  Gotta leave something for future blog entries, right?

More changes - I have teenagerS now.  Beth is 15, Caitlin is 13.  I love them I love them I love them.  I will get through this.  I LOVE THEM.  They really are delightful girls: smart, beautiful, just the right bit of sarcastic (most of the time).  I just see so much of me in them from when I was their ages.  I'm sorry, Mom.

Matt is 9, and rockin' fourth grade.  It's a challenge to get him to wear PJ's to bed, use sheets on his bed, or take a shower, but hey - he's 9, right?  Please tell me that's normal. 

And our last big huge change - we're moving.  Most of you already know this via FB or RL.  Brian got orders to Albuqurque NM, and I'm currently sitting here blogging in a nearly empty house.  We have air mattresses, camp chairs, a fugly buffet table, and small TV.  That's pretty much it.  We move out of the house for good this Friday, into a hotel here in town for a week for the kids' last week of school, then we hope to drive out of OKC on 6 Oct.  Then on to bigger and better things!!!  Right?  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  I hate that we're leaving so many friends and family behind, we've established so many roots here over the last six years. (Will not cry...will not cry...)  But as I keep telling the kids, it's a new chance to define who we are and be proud of ourselves for making a new start when we really don't want to. 

I guess that's all we can really ask for...