Friday, August 14, 2009


No, really! Even though it looks like a coffee post, it's really a poop post. Because I love you!

Ever since I was on my liquid diet before surgery, I've had the poopy problems. Giant, rock hard logs that would impress any man, and only about once a week. Sometimes I even have it out by pressing on the rectal wall from inside my lady station. Not a sexy moment, and definitely something that requires privacy!!

It's a given that most WLS patients are going to have to deal with constipation. Doctors will recommend that we drink more water and take Miralax. I did that. On the rare occasion that Miralax worked I ended up with peanut-butter-butt. EW. It still left me feeling like I had a gut full of ick stuck to my intestines. Probably because I did.

So I've recently started drinking coffee. I've never been a huge coffee drinker, because I was spoiled rotten by really good coffee from being raised in Western Washington. But I've been absolutely exhausted lately, so a big mug of coffee in the morning was in order.

Woo-hoo!!! I can poop now!!! I'm a big girl! I didn't even think about the fact that caffiene is a diuretic. It's really woken up my guts, and I've been able to go every morning for the last three days. I'm sure it's kind of pathetic to be so excited about being able to take a crap, but I don't care. When you finally have painless poopies, that's worth excitement.

So whichever oddball it was that noticed his goats eating the berries off that bush and getting so much more energy...I thank him. My house will be cleaner due to all the extra energy, and my gut will be happier, too.

(Disclaimer: Talk to your doc about starting caffiene after surgery. I'm being a naugty girl and drinking it even though I'm really not supposed to. Also, if you do imbibe, make sure to drink twice as much water as coffe ON TOP OF what you'd normally drink. That whole diuretic thing can be rather dehydrating, not such a great thing if you end up in the hospital from it.)


Amy said...

hahahahah...lady station. I have to save that one in my brain and use it in the future. I've never heard of that one. I have also never hear of pressing on this lady station to help poop come out...but I just might try it someday!

Coffee on the other hand I will not try. It's GROSS!