Getting back on track...

One of my many hobbies that I've always loved is photography. I've played with the idea of making it a career, and I'm getting closer to it. It's a big step and I'm rather nervous about it, but I figure...baby steps! So I've been working on getting my portfolio set up. This is what I have so far. BTW, that's a link!

Next week I'm doing maternity shots of my friend Mendy, and I'm so excited. This is her 5th baby, and she SAYS it's her last. ;) I've got some great ideas for shots and can't wait to see how they work out.

In our journey for self improvement we need to re-focus on what brings us joy. What is your joy?

I'm not such a fatty anymore!!!!

At 5'8" tall and 194 lbs, I am now officially MODERATELY OVERWEIGHT. Yeah baby!!!! I can drop the obese label! I hate that word. When I started this whole thing I was morbidly obese, and I'm sure at one point I may have even been super-morbidly obese. BUT NO MORE AND NEVER AGAIN. I'm stupid giddy, I'm so excited!!! I'm down to a size 14-16, more of a 14. My goal is about a 10, although my PCM seems to think I can make it to an 8. She forgets that I've had giant babies, so I don't think an 8 is realistic. A hope, but not reality. Anyway, I don't care, I'll be happy with 10-12.

I also tried on my original wedding set this morning, since my set that I got a few years ago is too big. My original set fits, it just slid right on!! I don't have to fight to get them off, either. I haven't been able to wear them without them cutting painfully since before Matt was born 6 years ago.

I love seeing RESULTS from all this! What are YOUR favorite results lately?

OOOOWWWW!!!!

I'm not one for just sliding into the water and taking things slow. I jump right in, cannonball style. Which is what I did on Monday.

I had forgotten that Zumba doesn't start until 12:30 on Mondays, so I got there at 10:15ish for the earlier class. Oops. It would have been stupid and a waste of gas for me to go home then come back, so I decided to just do a full workout. And by full, I mean FULL. I not only did weights, I ADDED abdominals and obliques. And it's been so long since I've done weights....Oh holy protein balls!!! Yeah, when it comes to shoulder presses, MEG IS A WUSS. It's two days later and the muscle sort of behind my armpit is STILL sore. After weights I jumped onto the elliptical and did a really hard two miles. I was keeping pace with the guy on the treadmill next to me, and he was running pretty hard. Finally, it was time for Zumba, so off to class I went. And within 10 minutes I had such a stitch in my side I had to fall out for about half a song. I felt so stupid, but IT'S NOT SMART TO PUSH THROUGH A STITCH. I learned that from my cross-country runner hubby. So I went in the back and drank some water until I felt better, then I was able to get in and "baile, baile!!!"

Now, it's all well & good to get the exercise in...but I didn't go back yesterday. I was so tired (we old folks really need to start going to bed earlier!) I really should have, because the repetition would have helped with the soreness. The plan is to go back in today, depending on what time I can get to the doc and to the chiropractor. (More on that in a moment.)

The thing about exercise that I think we all tend to try to forget is that we need the consistency. Doing a good, hard, two and a half hour workout once a week just doesn't cut it, no matter how intense the workout is. We need to exercise at LEAST three days a week, preferably four to five. I think it's something that we really let slip to the wayside in the business of life. And if we don't have somebody that we keep ourselves accountable to it's even easier to lose track of our focus. When we only work out once a week or less, we're not seeing the results that we want and end up so discouraged that we end up giving up.

Like I tell my kids...you won't see the results unless you put the hard work in! Post-workout pain can be rather discouraging as well, but with the consistency will come tolerance and less pain. And sexy, sexy results!

Who are you accountable to, besides yourself, when it comes to exercise? Do you have somebody that you keep posted about what you do? I post it on my Facebook, not for all the pats on the back that it gets me (but hey, those feel good too!), but because when I don't post about my exercise for a while there are people who will ask me if I HAVE been working out. They keep me on track, and challenge me to do better. If you don't have somebody to be accountable to, find an exercise buddy! Confide in somebody that you trust, and ask them to be your cheerleader. Make time for yourself to get the solid, consistent exercise that your body craves, and give yourself the opportunity to SEE results.


(Re: The doc...the rash is back. It's on my left side & lower back above my butt, and it hurts like hell. It's apparently just contact dermatitis, not the yeasty beasties after all, but it comes back every time I sweat. I CAN'T WIN. So I'm calling the doc again today and asking for another steroid shot. I have a feeling I might be on the juice for a while, the steroid cream isn't cutting it.)

IT's a POOP POST!

No, really! Even though it looks like a coffee post, it's really a poop post. Because I love you!

Ever since I was on my liquid diet before surgery, I've had the poopy problems. Giant, rock hard logs that would impress any man, and only about once a week. Sometimes I even have to...um...help it out by pressing on the rectal wall from inside my lady station. Not a sexy moment, and definitely something that requires privacy!!

It's a given that most WLS patients are going to have to deal with constipation. Doctors will recommend that we drink more water and take Miralax. I did that. On the rare occasion that Miralax worked I ended up with peanut-butter-butt. EW. It still left me feeling like I had a gut full of ick stuck to my intestines. Probably because I did.

So I've recently started drinking coffee. I've never been a huge coffee drinker, because I was spoiled rotten by really good coffee from being raised in Western Washington. But I've been absolutely exhausted lately, so a big mug of coffee in the morning was in order.

Woo-hoo!!! I can poop now!!! I'm a big girl! I didn't even think about the fact that caffiene is a diuretic. It's really woken up my guts, and I've been able to go every morning for the last three days. I'm sure it's kind of pathetic to be so excited about being able to take a crap, but I don't care. When you finally have painless poopies, that's worth excitement.

So whichever oddball it was that noticed his goats eating the berries off that bush and getting so much more energy...I thank him. My house will be cleaner due to all the extra energy, and my gut will be happier, too.

(Disclaimer: Talk to your doc about starting caffiene after surgery. I'm being a naugty girl and drinking it even though I'm really not supposed to. Also, if you do imbibe, make sure to drink twice as much water as coffe ON TOP OF what you'd normally drink. That whole diuretic thing can be rather dehydrating, not such a great thing if you end up in the hospital from it.)

Got my new military dependent ID yesterday.

I had had the old once since 2005 or so, and I waited as long as I could to get the new one so I could have SKINNY FACE on it. YAY SKINNY FACE!!!

When we got back here to Oklahoma 3 years ago (huh, almost 3 years exactly) I was probably close to 300 pounds. I don't know for sure, but knowing what I looked like at certain weights...it was probably around 300. It was definitely the biggest I've ever been. I had to get my Oklahoma drivers license looking like that! Can you say ROUND FACE? I hate looking at that picture, because my face literally takes up the entire frame. Gigantor.

So now I have my new military ID, and I can compare the two pictures. Holy crapoly! Such a difference! Yes, I fibbed a bit on my weight still...I said I was 180. I figure I'll be down to 180 by mid-November at the latest (I hope) so it's not hugely far fetched. I was only lying by 16 lbs. But the difference in my face is amazing. Just...wow. I'm hoping I can borrow a scanner so I can post the two pictures. I've actually been showing a few people the two ID's, so they can see the difference. LOL

At least it's not contagious!

I have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad rash. S'riously. It's on my back in those two spots where my backfat is still trying to crease, but doesn't quite make it. It's also on my back just above my butt crack. Then it's on my front, on my abdomen, just below and between my boobs. AND it's on the outer half of each of my boobs!

It started about three weeks ago, I think, but I'm not sure. I didn't really pay attention, I just had a few red bumps in each of those areas and I figured it was because Bethany probably ran a load of laundry with my gym clothes in it and used a full cup of fabric softener. (Because it's normal to wash laundry with just fabric softener and nothing else, right? That's what mom taught, isn't it?) I figured it was a combination of the excess softener and sweat. But it kept getting worse & worse, and then worser (yep, it's a word, I said so) still.

Finally, I guess about a week and a half ago, I caved and went to see my primary care provider. I had been using hyrdocortizone, regular cortizone, Ultra-Medicated Gold Bond lotion, baby powder...nothing was taking care of it. She gave me an anti-fungal cream and a steroid cream. It started to clear up the first few days, and the painful burn eased up, but it ended up coming back with a vengance. Used up all the goop she gave me, so I even used Monistat cream on it over the weekend. Not even that helped.

So I called this morning and said that I MUST see her again, and thankfully I was able to get in. I got a steroid shot in the butt, she gave me a stronger anti-fungal cream, and two more tubes of steroid cream. We also took pics to send out for a "teledermatology consult." That will take 3-5 days. Either way...I'm pretty sure it's yeasty beasties, so if it's not starting to clear up bigtime by Friday morning, I'm calling and begging for Diflucan. I meant to today, but got sidetracked because I had the kids with me.

The whole issue is getting really frustrating, because the rash gets significantly worse when I work out. It's in all the areas that my shirt touches my skin when it's soaked with sweat. I desperately need to get an UnderArmour type shirt & shorts to wear for workouts, but I just can't afford it right now. It's back to school season, & we've got a vacation coming up that I need to take money out for, AND I desperately need to take my dog to the vet. (I think she may have cancer, and it's scaring the shit out of me. I don't want my doggie to die but we can't afford a surgery, much less treatments.) GAH...all of this piling up and a rash just makes everything seem so much bigger. Besides, I can't go really bra shopping, like at Sessy Time Victoria's Secret, until it's completely healed. So I'm stuck in a crappy "Barely There" bra that rubs RIGHT WHERE THE FUCKING RASH IS.

Gah...just call me Alexander.

Sex after WLS

Yes, I really will talk about anything.

So last week Brian and I were getting our bow-chicka-wow-wow on. We both noticed around the same moment that because he wasn't having to lean over the giant gut he was actually fitting in a bit deeper. WOOOOOOW. And mmmmmmmmm..... Movement is so much easier now, too. I'm able to move in ways that I haven't since before I had kids. (The elliptical strenghtening my thighs has a lot to do with that. LOL) Now sometimes this makes sex end a lot faster than expected, because...um...well...surprise orgasm anybody?

After we were done that night, Brian kind of surprised me when he said, "I had to check and make sure it was still you! It feels almost like I'm making love to a different woman, and it freaks me out." I think if the weight loss hadn't been so fast & drastic it wouldn't be such a big deal, but every time we have sex SOMETHING is different. What a way to spice up the sex life, huh?

The only thing that somewhat bothers me is how much more often he wants me now. Before, he said he loved me no matter what and always wanted me, and the sex was good for both of us. But now...it's almost like I'm back with that 19 year old that I first fell in love with. It makes me realize just how much our physical bodies do matter in every single aspect of our lives. It's yet another reason that I'm so thankful that I've had WLS, and that I'm getting healthier and back to the body I used to have...

Pray for me....

Brian is on day 1 of quitting smoking. Again. It was bad enough the first time around. Keep me in your prayers over the next 4 weeks...

Two things...

In Zumba tonight, one of the girls that just got certified as an instructor did one of the songs. She was a big girl!! It was so great to have a big girl take the initiative and get certified like that. I just thought it was so cool. :)

And last night, Matt (my 6 year old) gave me a big "squishy" hug before going to bed. With his arms still around my waist he looked up at me with amazement and told me, "Mommy, you're almost SKINNY!!!"

Le Sigh! I love that kid!!!