I love me some bottom feeders.

I made myself a mess of shrimp for dinner, cooked in a teeny bit of olive oil, a ton of garlic (c'mere, gimme a kiss!), a smidge of butter because it's just NEEDED, and some wine. I ate a whole THREE of them. And every single one was NOM. The leftovers will be NOM tomorrow.

Sadly, there's only about 1 g protein in one medium shrimp. What a ripoff!

Can't really is a word, and I'm OK with that. Just don't tell my kids.

I'm having a really difficult time getting both enough hydration AND enough protein. I just can't do it, when I try on both it makes me want to puke. I'm fairly sure it's because it's so freakin' hot out, I've never been an eater when it's hot. So right now, I'm choosing hydration. I'm doing my best to eat about 10 g protein and drink one protein source a day, which would put me at about half of what I need. Even that, though, makes me want to puke.

I also can't eat or drink for at least an hour and a half after I get up. It's like my pouch is too tight, or something. I take my Synthroid as soon as I get up and even that sip of water to wash it down wants to come back up. I took it about 30 minutes ago and I can still feel it. It's wierd.

I can't eat scrambled eggs to save my life, either. I've tried several times, and each time I end up with that awful diverticulitis-type pain in my left side. I'm making sure to chew chew chew like we're constantly told to do, but it doesn't help. No matter how soft they are, scrambled eggs are just a no-go. I'm going to have to try poached eggs and see how that goes.

I also learned last week the folly of pushing too hard on getting started on exercise again. Monday, I did 12 minutes on the elliptical. Yay me! Used to be that even 5 minutes was too much. Tuesday, I thought I got my ass kicked in Zumba. It was fun, but I don't think I've EVER sweated that much! I lost 2 pounds that day!!! Wednesday, I did my first run for the Couch to 5K program, and I managed to run EVERY SINGLE INTERVAL. Yay me again! Buuuuuuut...I had started out with pain in my left side to begin with, and running definitely didn't help. Thursday I was still hurting on my left side, but I went to Zumba again anyway. This time, Zumba really did kick my ass. When I got home I crashed (didn't sleep well the night before anyway, ended up sleeping on the sofa), I couldn't even make myself take a shower. When I woke up I went to roll over and it was like something exploded in my gut. Graceful Meg that I am...I managed to tear ANOTHER FREAKIN' MUSCLE IN MY ABDOMEN. This time it was higher than the first, and a muscle that gets used more often. Good doG this sucks!!!

So this week I think I'm going to skip Zumba and do water aerobics. I'm hoping that I can stand running again, because I really want to do this Couch to 5K thing. My plan is:

Monday: elliptical in the morning, at least 20 minutes, and fast walking in the evening.
Tuesday: water aerobics, C25K in the evening
Wednesday: weights, fast walking in the evening
Thursday: water aerobics, C25K in the evening
Friday: elliptical, fast walking in the evening
Saturday: lazy day, C25K in the evening
Sunday: lazy day, fast walking in the evening

Huh. I should print that out and post it somewhere where I'll actually see it and FOLLOW it.

I didn't fall over dead, there may be hope after all!!!

Yesterday I got back on the exercise groove, and did a whole 12 minutes on the elliptical machine at the Y. Today I went to Zumba. I'm still ALIVE!! It was pretty fun, even thought it's been over half an hour since I got out and I'm still sweating like a may-un. Time for a cold shower.

I do need to get new shoes though, which sucks, because the ones I've got are new. But my little toe on my right foot keeps squishing under, I think the toe box is too tight or something. Sam's has some men's Reeboks on sale for $25, maybe those will work. I'm sick of constantly having to get new shoes because I have funkified feet.

QUIT GROWIN'!!!!

My baby is SIX today! I took this pic back in December. I need to take some more.

I can't believe my baby is six. What happened to the giant baby in NICU?

SOMETHING is happening!!!

I went shopping with one of my girlfriends yesterday. She got me into a Ross and I DIDN'T have an anxiety attack, which was amazing in and of itself. She also convinced me to try on a pair of size 16 shorts. I didn't think they'd fit, after all, I was wearing a size 20 at the time. I tried them anyway.

THEY FIT!!!

I also ended up getting a pair of size 16 Addidas shorts for running, and size 16 yoda pants. YAY!

One of the wonderful ladies on a message board that I post at had sent me a big box of jeans, almost all size 16, and almost all Levi's. I lived in Levi's when I was a kid. I held up a pair last night and was doubtful. They just looked SMALL. Meh. I tried them on anyway.

THEY FIT TOO!!! OK, so I had the massive muffin top going on, but the shirt I was wearing hid it, so as long as I'm wearing the right shirt it should be OK. But I DIDN'T have to lay down to zip them up, so to me, that counts as fitting.

So even though I've stalled at 28 lbs loss, apparently I'm still dropping in size.

Oooh, I bought some 16 capri's back in February when I was visiting my mom...I wonder if they'll fit now....I'm gonna go try them on! Hehehe...back to shopping in my closet! Maybe I should actually CLEAN it.

I ate FOOD last night!!!

We went to the Bricktown Brewery to meet up with the OH Oklahoma group for dinner. I ordered the California Club sandwich, NO BREAD (got a funny look from the waitress for that) and had a little bit of French Onion soup with it. NOM. OK, so the turkey was just plain old salty lunchmeat, but it was FOOD. SOLID FOOD. I only had a few spoonfuls of the soup, then passed it on to Beth, but I ate almost an entire wedge of avocado, and about 1/4 of the turkey & cheese. I also took all the lean off the bacon and ate that. NOM. It was SO FREAKIN' GOOD.

Best part? It didn't hurt at all. I can't eat scrambled eggs for some reason, they end up hurting my colon where the diverticulits hurt, but the turkey went down beautifully.

I never thought I'd be so excited over eating lunchmeat. LOL

Fruity goodness!

So I came up with a dessert that is sooooooooooooooo good, it's right up there with Chick-Fil-A Diet Lemonade. Yeah, it's THAT GOOD.

1/4 c fat free ricotta cheese (see, ricotta already makes it good!)
1/4 tsp fresh lemon zest
1/4 packet Splenda or Truvia
2 tsp sugar free blackberry or apricot jelly

Mix up the cheese, zest, & sweetener, top it off with the jelly, and just lightly swirl it in.

Seriously. It gets four NOMs.

Chick-Fil-A, I lurve you.

A large diet lemonade just makes the world a bit sunshinier. Yeah, that's a word. I said so. And the Chick-Fil-A lemonade is so much better than diet Countrytime or diet Minutemaid or Diet Sonic Crap.

And on the site where I lifted the image of the beautiful lemonade, there was a great recipe for BASIL lemonade. Make a simple syrup (or Splenda syrup!) and throw in some basil leaves as it simmers. NOM! I might have to do this tonight, I've got some beautiful Thai basil out back.

Stalled Already.

Sorry I haven't been around much. The kids are home and I've been busy bossing them around. That's how they see it anyway.

I've also been just a bit too bummed to get online. I've stalled at 28 lbs lost. Already. I know it's because of the tear in my abdomen, since I can't exercise, but it's so frustrating. I'm only getting MAYBE 500 calories a day. If I were able to move and DO stuff I'd be able to kick my metabolism into gear. Instead my body is doing what it's always done when I diet. It notices that I'm not getting sufficient calories and it shuts down. Instead of feeding on the fat like it should it just hibernates & stores what it's got.

The tear isn't showing any sign of healing, either. I have to hold my stomach just right when I use my abdomen for anything, or it feels like it's tearing again. I've thought about going to my primary care doc about it, but there's really nothing she can do either. I have to take Lortab at night to be able to sleep, and still wake up in pain in the mornings.

This is really the first time I've questioned what it is that I've done to my body, and why. The thing is, this stall isn't coming from the WLS, it's because of something that just happened, completely unrelated. It sucks.

Sorry, just cranky and feeling sorry for myself. And while normally I'd bake up something yummy and drown my sorrows in it...yeah, can't do that. I have to find a new way to deal.

Good news...I'm on the tightest hook setting on my bra, and a C cup finally fits perfectly. The D cups are way too big, AND Lame Giant is having a Cacique sale. Yee-haw doggie!

Judy Blume must have been a fat kid.

Years & years & years & years & years & YEARS ago (hey, I'm oldish) I read just about every Judy Blume book ever written for kids. One that always stuck with me, though, was Blubber.

It was about a little girl that was overweight and always made fun of. (Sound familiar?) I think her mom piled on the food for comfort, and the rest of the family just didn't understand because they were all thin. Or something along those lines.

The line that really got me, and has always resonated with me, was "I can see my feet!"

The little girl had finally started losing weight, and the moment that it sunk in for her was when she looked down and was able to see her feet for the first time in a long time.

Today, I looked down, and I had a moment like that. Only for me it was, "My gunt isn't sticking out past my boobs anymore!" Now, I have big knockers to begin with. Even after a breast reduction I'm still a really full C cup, or a D depending on the bra. I've also always carried a big portion of my weight in my belly. So today I put on a dress that MIL bought for me while she was here. The first time I wore it was a few days after surgery and I was still pretty swollen and had difficulty pulling my gut in. I looked pregnant in it. NOT TODAY. I looked down and DIDN'T SEE MY GUT. I think today is the first time I've really seen that physical change in myself. Brian says that he sees it in my face and the fact that I'm becoming more hourglass shaped, but I don't see that. Yes, I see that my clothes fit better, but I don't see the actual body changes. Until today. I DIDN'T SEE MY GUT. *HAPPY DANCE!!!*

In other news, I suddenly can't tolerate the milky protein supps anymore. I gag when I try to get them down. So now I'm drinking Isopure clear drinks mixed with Crystal Light or Peach Herbal tea all day. Goes down much better, even though it leaves a funny feeling in my mouth.

I also had my first FOOD today. Technically I'm supposed to wait until after my follow up appointment with Dr. G, but I needed that extra fuel today. So I had a scrambled egg for breakfast that took me almost an hour to eat, and was full ALL DAY LONG on it. For dinner I had a little more than a quarter cup of runny refried beans (fat free) with some lowfat cheese melted in. That was soooooo good. If G gives me the OK I'm all over some steamed fish tomorrow night. NOM.

That's what I get for opening my big mouth.

So earlier in the week I was commenting to my MIL that "wow, I'm really surprised at how well this is all going, I'm not having any problems at all!" I was able to get 4 oz of protein down at a time, and was drinking about 16 oz a day in my first week. 60 oz of water a day, minimum, and it's actually easier for me to drink iced.

Of course, the next day, my words bit me in the butt. I was having increasing pain in my left side all day long, and I thought it was just the incision. We took the kids to the Science Center in the afternoon and had a great time, but I needed to take more Tylenol even though I had just taken some a few hours earlier. When we got home I went to sit down and it was like something twisted in my left side, and it was agony. Nearly sent me into tears. By that time I had been off the Lortab for three days, but it was enough to make me take the Lortab again, and it still didn't touch the pain.

The next day I woke up mostly better, but within 20 minutes the pain was back with a vengeance. I called Dr. G's office and spoke with his nurse. She said that I had likely pulled the stitch in my left side, but to come in just in case. Unfortunately they weren't seeing patients on Thursday, so I had to go in first thing yesterday morning. I spent all day Thursday just sitting on the back porch reading, the only time I wasn't in pain was if I was completely still.

Went in yesterday and Doc G felt around the incision site, and it didn't hurt a bit. When he moved down a few inches lower it hurt like hell. So it definitely wasn't the stitch. He said because of the location and the fact that it's where they pulled the colon out to work on it, it could be diverticulitis or just an inflamed colon. Either way, he sent me for a CT to take a better look.

The CT tech that got me started was a flaming idiot. He brought out a 32 oz container of contrast liquid for me to drink and handed me a straw. I handed the straw back and told him I couldn't use it and he stood there and argued with me. I'm not sure what part of "I just had gastric bypass surgery, I'm not allowed to use straws because they allow too much to be swallowed at once and put air into my brand new thumb sized stomach pouch" he didn't understand, but he seriously expected me to drink the full 32 oz. I told him I'd do my best, but I was only able to get down 16. Not bad, considering I had to forgo the straw and it tasted awful.

Finally got the CT done, then went home to wait for results. One of the nurses called in the afternoon and said that the CT still wasn't clear if it was diverticulitis or just inflammation, but Doc wanted to treat it as diverticulitis, so he was going to put me on antibiotics. She called in a scrip for me and I picked it up last night. Hardcore! He's got me on Cipro 2x's a day for 7 days.

Anyway, I finally earned a sticker last night and was able to have a bowel movement (it always comes back to the poop, doesn't it?) and holy cow, the relief was almost instantaneous. My side still ached, but it was nothing like before. This morning, I'm pretty much all better. I'll still take the Cipro because it looks like it was diverticulitis after all, with a good side of constipation, but I haven't had to take ANYTHING for pain today. Not even a Tylenol, yay!

After all this, though, it's come to the point that I can't stand my protein drinks. I can get them down OK, but I gag and choke the whole time. I think it's just the fact that I'm so sick of them, I'm sick of all the sweet. THREE MORE DAYS UNTIL EGGS, COTTAGE CHEESE, AND REFRIED BEANS. Thankfully I'm still good on my water. I drink either Crystal Light or water all day, and there's no ick factor.

All in all, I'm down 22 lbs from my start weight.

I'm baaaaaa-aaaaaaack!!!

I wasn't feeling up to being back online for the first few days, and when I finally was ready to get online I managed to fry my keyboard within the first five minutes. I could surf via mouse, but that was it. Now that I have a new wireless & spill-proof keyboard and mouse (ergo friendly, too!) all is right with my world.

Surgery went great, and for the first time out of all of my surgeries I woke up with NO problems. WOW. I was really worried about waking up, probably more than anything else, because I get violently ill (think Exorcist) and have the worst cold shivers for a few hours. It sucks big hairy donkey balls. I told all of this to my anesthesiologist, and he promised me he wouldn't let that happen to me this time. When I woke up my only problem was that I was desperately thirsty and dead tired. I don't remember the recovery room or being brought into my room.

The first day I pretty much spent hitting the morphine button and dozing. Brian stayed overnight with me, which was wonderful. It was really comforting to wake up in the middle of the night and know that he was there, he's never been able to stay with me before. I did have a baaaaaaad air bubble in the middle of the night, I thought I was dying. It was right under the left incision, the only incision with a stitch, so I thought something was going wrong with it. Excruciating pain, probably the worst I've had in all of this. The nurse came in and gave me something extra for the pain, then got me up and walking. WALKING IS GOOD.

The foley cath was pulled at 6 AM the next day, and such a relief. It felt like it kept backing up on me, so even though I had a cath I constantly had to pee. Brian spent a lot of time trying to get the cath to drain down to the bag. (What a great guy!) I was able to eat half a popcicle, a few sips of soup, and jello throughout all my meals, and was up & walking a LOT, so when Dr. G came to visit me around lunch time he said I might be able to get out that day. YES PLEASE!!! I ended up getting released at 7 PM, the day after surgery. It pays to be a good girl, right?

I was still groggy from the anesthesia for the first few days at home, but now all is good. My energy level is almost to where it used to be, though I do get worn out easily when I push myself too hard. Today is day 3 off the Lortab, thank goodness, that crap was nasty. Now I'm just taking 1000 mg Tylenol twice a day.

Nutrition wise, I brainfarted and wasn't drinking enough protein supplement, even though the supplement itself was enough protein. The release sheet says to drink 16-24 oz of supplement a day, I was getting 8-10. So I've switched supplements for a while. I HATE PROTEIN SUPPLEMENTS!!! They didn't bother me before surgery, but I'm so sick of the sweet cack!! Thankfully it's just a "I'm sick of this crap" issue, rather than not being able to get it down. I do have a REALLY hard time with the vitamins & calcium citrate, so I'm going to have to look for something else. There goes $100 down the drain! Maybe I'll be able to handle them later.

I haven't had any significant problems, which honestly, kind of worries me. I can drink an 11 oz supplement in half an hour, I have no problem getting my minimum of 60 oz water a day, and can usually get in closer to 80. I can eat an entire 1/2 cup of sugar free jello with no problems, and probably more quickly than I should. I'm sooooooooo ready to start on mushies, I want REAL food.

Well, that's a start for now....don't want to overwhelm you!! I'm going to have to write down a list of what all to blog about, so much has been happening, and I keep thinking, "OOh, I need to put that on my blog!"

OH, btw, I'm down 19 pounds from my start weight!!! Official start weight was 258, this morning I was a beautiful 239 and gettin' slimmer by the minute!!!