Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Crying over spilled...soup.

I don't think I got enough protein or carbs today, and the little that I DID have just wasn't satisfying. I was also dealing with our former mortgage company, so I had that added stress. When I was at Bed Bath & Beyond I bought a Food Network magazine because it had a burger on the front. I loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove a good burger. I haven't been having all that hard a time with cravings & such since my bumpy first day, so I thought I'd be OK.

Notsomuch. I don't know if my sugar bottomed out really hard or if my vitamins that I had taken over an hour earlier were finally hitting me, but as I was on the way to get Matt's lunch at Chick-Fil-A I was struggling not to throw up as I drove. The whole way home, with his nuggets next to me and knowing that just one nugget of solid protein goodness would make me feel, that was tough. I had to call my mom and tell her what was up, I needed her to talk me through it.

After I got Matt fed & off to school I came back home and sat out back with my magazine. I neglected to check the expiration date on the legs, arms, and chest are now blistered red. Y'know how you get bright red when you're embarrassed? (OK, at least I do.) My entire front is that red. Except my face & neck, of course, because the sunblock in my moisturizer is still OK. So much for a relaxing afternoon read.

Brian made a steak for him & the kids for dinner, and the fact that I didn't do my liquids very well today came roaring back. OMG, that steak smelled so freakin' good. I went outside and watered all my plants, but they were still eating when I came in. I ended up sweet talking Brian into giving me a tiny bite of steak on the promise that I'd chew chew chew and spit it out, just getting the flavor. It was a REALLY tender piece of meat, though, and it pretty much dissolved as I chewed. It was so good that I went and did something that I would have been horrified at my kids for doing.................I licked the plate that the steak was on. I could happily get through the rest of the liquid diet on steak juice.

I guess the thing that kind of topped everything off was that my ride for tomorrow (getting my IVC filter, conscious sedation so I can't drive) ended up not being able to go after all. I had a hell of a time finding somebody to begin with because Brian has a flight he can't get out of and almost everybody else I know either works or has small kids. Anyway, my pregnant neighbor was going to help me but she was offered a chance to get a 4D ultrasound of her baby, for free. Definitely take that chance!!! So I had to call around and finally got somebody (who is SO not a morning person) to help me. I hate having to ask for help.

After all this today, I went to make myself a cup of soup, and the ONE soup I wanted, the Tomato Parmesan Bisque, the seal was broken. It was like it broke a seal in me, too. I just walked into my room, fell face down on my bed (OW!) and started sobbing. Brian came in to find out why I've lost my mind this time (common occurence) and climbed up on the bed next to me, bumping my entire front. (OOOOOOOOW!!!) And of course, even though I won't tell him anything until he promises not to laugh at me, he laughs at me. Meanyhead.

so now I'm gong to go brush my teeth, crash into bed, and get up in 5 1/2 hours to go let somebody poke a hole in a vital vein in my neck. It's after midnight now, so.......five days!


Amy said...

ahahahahaha.....can you imagine what you looked like licking the plate? I can...bc I can picture me doing the same thing! Toooo funny. Brian reminds me of Tracey. I can bat my eyelashes at him and he will give me little nibbles of his naughty food! gotta love our boys! Remind me when you are having your surgery and is it lapro or open?

Sarah said...

I'm so sorry... don't days like that suck? Hang in there - and good for you for being honest about licking the plate! I have done things like that... you go girl! It'll all be worth it in the end.

Meg said...

I've got lap-RNY on Tuesday the 26th. Two years and one day after my breast reduction, and twelve years and two days after I got married. May is a good month!